fill in the blank friday

Yay, it's my first official Fill in the Blank Friday! I wish I had more time to spend on this, but today is pretty packed. I need to research still more for this paper, I have a meeting on campus, and then there's the end-of-semester party at Poitin Still. I probably shouldn't go since my paper is in such bad shape, but I haven't had much of a chance to socialize with grad school people so far as a non-degree student taking only one class, and I'd really like to go out. Maybe I'll be really good and come home early... most likely I'll just be living on Amp energy drinks until Tuesday! Anyway, I hope everyone has a great day!

1.   What I love most about my home is       being with the hubs. I know it's cheesy, but we have a really great relationship. I also love all my books. I've been better this year about going to the library, but there's just something about owning them, marking them up, and all that. Yes, I am totally a printed word devotee!

2.  I'm excited because,    tomorrow is my secret anniversary with the hubs! It's kind of a long story, and I'll spare it, but we're going to one of my favorite restaurants, Webster's Wine Bar. Their bacon-wrapped dates and creme brulee are perfect!

3.  My preferred method for blowing  off steam when I'm frustrated is     I have to talk it out! Explaining my frustrations (even really quickly) helps me make sense of why I'm frustrated. It helps me clear my head, and then I can get re-organized and deal with whatever's bothering me.

4.  Currently I am craving   tomorrow night's bacon-wrapped dates and a champagne flight! I am really full from a too-big breakfast though, so it's kind of hard to think about food right now

5.  The thing I love most about my mom is     that she will drop anything to help me out, and that she is so crazy selfless. When I was younger (even in my young twenties), I didn't think I was anything like her at all. Now at 27 I find more and more things that I do/say are uncannily similar (the hubs even points out how I get all high-pitched when I'm excited) to her, which is so funny-- I guess you can't help sort of becoming your mother! I'm lucky though, because she's awesome!

6.  If I was going to write a book about my life, the title would be       "Well, I was going to write that book, but I had all these cakes to bake..." I bake a lot when I procrastinate. Someday (I'd like to think) I'll have a few books under my name, but someday seems pretty far off as a beginning grad student! In the meantime, though, you should come over for some blueberry muffins, I baked them yesterday.

7.  If I were to eat one thing for the rest of eternity it would be    omg this is too hard!I would need something that's both salty and sweet, so I could alternate between tastes and still be satisfied... it's a toss-up between garlic bread and a brownie sundae. I guess as long as I could still have wine I'd be okay :)

Have a great weekend with your mom!

Paper due Tuesday... It's Crunch Time!

...and when I say "crunch time," I clearly mean obsessively check the internet for new apartment listings and decorating tips. Isn't that what you mean too?

The hubs and I currently live in Trendy Inland Neighborhood, but wish to move to Neighborhood on the Lake, as the water, the gorgeous parks, the bike paths, etc. are, more uplifting than the noiser, dirtier streets (and occasional noisy, dirty former students) we see now. This is, unfortunately, proving to be logistically difficult. I want to be able to walk to my classes at University on the Lake (read: not pay for train tickets-- I'd rather spend the money on beer!), but the hubs will be working WAY down south come fall. He HATES commuting, and this move will mean countless hours of him sitting in traffic, possibly thinking not-so-nice thoughts as he imagines me skipping around on the beach and making flower chains with the wind in my hair, as everyone not bogged down by traffic does every day.

While the bickering over a 6-block radius and the ever-present guilt about not actually doing anything for this assignment (did I mention it's due in 5 days?) are fun and all, I thought I'd post a bit about my dream apartment. Here's what I envision:

Library (with fireplace, naturally):

 We'd need at least a 2-bedroom, so one room could function as an office/library/daydreaming space. (image: flikr)

Kitchen:

Requirements include tons of cabinet and counter space for my millions of kitchen supplies, and a dishwasher-- when you bake as much as me, you think about tallying up all the time spent doing dishes, but it's too painful (also painful: math).

Our bedroom:
I'm loving clean lines and greys lately. Our bedrooms for 3 years have not had the space for us to get out of bed on either side, and it's always me that has to climb up and over the hubs (and inevitably trip on the laundry basket at the foot of the bed) to go to the bathroom. Boo.

This room from C&B would be perfect if the duvet wasn't so garish busy.

Living Room:

Since most of our books will be in the library, our living room will feel more decorated than cluttered, as it feels now (replace austere-looking dude with too-big TV).

 
I also love how comfortable this room looks, from Design*Sponge 

Outside space for coffee or a cocktail w/a view:

Neighborhood by the Lake was meant to be enjoyed like this!

I guess we won't be enjoying anything if I don't get into this master's program, though, and for that I need to begin this paper before the hardworking hubs comes home and finds out I've been fantasizing about apartments for hours instead of working (again). le sigh...

Today has been filled with some of the best kind of procrastination-- that which makes me feel productive, but it's still distracting me from deciding on a topic for this paper (thesis? what thesis?).

     This morning: lounging in bed with the hubs, then oatmeal pancakes- yummmm.
      Morning-ish: groceries aren't going to shop for themselves, and it's so nice out! Let's walk!
      Okay, need to work. Email check, apply for an internship, quick blog check... you know what's hilarious and good for hours of the most entertaining procrastination? http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/ gets me every time. Speaking as a former cake decorator, you really have to be cognitively impaired or making a "please fire me" statement to be responsible for some of those gems.
     Slightly later: Oh, hubs, allergies got you down? I'll run and get you eye drops! I've already written part one of an outline/idea list, and probably need a break anyway.
     Okay, back home, and gonna get working... what's that, out-of-town best friend? You're coming home and want to coordinate a visit over Mother's Day? I should make some calls and organize.

Yes, of course I'm embarassed by how I seem to literally require a good six hours of procrastinating before I can get started. It's just that [cue the excuses, complete with imaginary violin music] I have no idea what I'm doing. In undergrad classes, the professors talked at length about ideas/themes/some kind of lens with which to view the literature. In this grad class, Materialism is the umbrella theory, but there has not been a single class in which we've synthesized the readings. Each week is like its own island. For this paper, there's zero direction. We can focus on any early modern work, and our papers must be ~20 pages. Maybe some people like this kind of freedom, but I feel like I'm drowning in it. I'm sure I'll look back on this as a *proper* grad student and shake my head at my pathetic inability to just pick a topic without having mini panic attacks (or resorting to starting a blog, for crying out loud), but for right now I've got apprximately one part of an outline. But hey, my professor's under crazy deadlines, and our papers aren't due until 72 hours before he needs to turn in grades. Maybe he'll never notice...

    

Seminar Paper #1 vs. Procrastination

Procrastination is the clear front-runner, having 27 years of experience. Seminar Paper #1 is the rookie in the ring, with barely any focus and several failed attempts at victory to date. Let's see what Procrastination has in her corner:
- a new Harold Bloom book, complete with a gorgeous, letterpress cover. A recent review not of the book, but of Prof. Bloom's prolific writing career was bashed to smithereens on The Chronicle. I couldn't help but fear for that unfortunate reviewer's (professional) life
- the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Yes, it was yesterday. Yes, I told people I watched but wasn't "one of those" people who watched all the E! specials... but I thought I'd just have a look while I drank my tea... 2 hours later I was Googling fancy hats.
- my former students: (a 10am text from C student) "Are you up yet? Z student needs to talk to you; it's urgent!" [editor's note: no, she did not actually use a semi-colon. And I was indignant at the question. Jeez, who isn't up that late on a Saturday? Both, you see, are support for my having left HS teaching.] Z student proceeded to sniffle through a story about an important interview she'd just gotten out of, in which she was asked who the most influential person in her life was. Before describing me, she burst into tears because I'd left the school year early. Cue massive heart attack of remorse for abandoning my classes and affection for Z student.

Aaaaand in the opposite corner, let's see what Seminar Paper #1 brings to the ring:
- [the sound of crickets]
- [someone coughing]
- Oh! The fact that I, as a non-degree seeking candidate have as a condition for my acceptance into a formal master's program (and my future, and the expectations of everyone who knows I quit teaching for this), the completion of this paper
- guilt at having to resort to beginning a BLOG, for crying out loud, to avoid doing my work...

Round One surprisingly goes to the challenger! Stay tuned, kids, it's only half past 11am...