Procrastination is the clear front-runner, having 27 years of experience. Seminar Paper #1 is the rookie in the ring, with barely any focus and several failed attempts at victory to date. Let's see what Procrastination has in her corner:
- a new Harold Bloom book, complete with a gorgeous, letterpress cover. A recent review not of the book, but of Prof. Bloom's prolific writing career was bashed to smithereens on The Chronicle. I couldn't help but fear for that unfortunate reviewer's (professional) life
- the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Yes, it was yesterday. Yes, I told people I watched but wasn't "one of those" people who watched all the E! specials... but I thought I'd just have a look while I drank my tea... 2 hours later I was Googling fancy hats.
- my former students: (a 10am text from C student) "Are you up yet? Z student needs to talk to you; it's urgent!" [editor's note: no, she did not actually use a semi-colon. And I was indignant at the question. Jeez, who isn't up that late on a Saturday? Both, you see, are support for my having left HS teaching.] Z student proceeded to sniffle through a story about an important interview she'd just gotten out of, in which she was asked who the most influential person in her life was. Before describing me, she burst into tears because I'd left the school year early. Cue massive heart attack of remorse for abandoning my classes and affection for Z student.
Aaaaand in the opposite corner, let's see what Seminar Paper #1 brings to the ring:
- [the sound of crickets]
- [someone coughing]
- Oh! The fact that I, as a non-degree seeking candidate have as a condition for my acceptance into a formal master's program (and my future, and the expectations of everyone who knows I quit teaching for this), the completion of this paper
- guilt at having to resort to beginning a BLOG, for crying out loud, to avoid doing my work...
Round One surprisingly goes to the challenger! Stay tuned, kids, it's only half past 11am...